What My Dreams are Made Of...

When I was in the sixth grade I started my counseling practice. It was on the teeter-totters. Kids would line up and wait on me to give them advice. One after the other they would line up and wait for their turn for me to tell them which direction to go. That was twenty-three years ago. Since then, I became a counselor. That is what I have felt like I was supposed to do with my life. I was born doing that. For me, counseling is like breathing. I have been helping people my whole life. That is not always good, well not as good as it sounds. If you neglect yourself and your family, it can't ever be fully good. But nonetheless, it has been good to be a part of peoples lives when they needed someone to be there for them.

So, I have this quandary, I just don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. I confess, staying at home with my kids is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. So glad I didn't have to apply for that job, or I may not have gotten that one. Nonetheless, I have always worked, and loved it. Because my husband is a teacher, I have always had a side job. I have been able to work from home, or at my church, or at night since my girls were born. Right now, as I have stated before, I have no job. This is the first time in my life since I was 14 and got a real work permit that I have been completely unemployed. When I was in college and graduate school, I always had at least two jobs, and have had as many as four. You do what you need to just to make it when you are paying your own way. Still paying my way to college every month thanks to Sallie Mae. Working has been something that has always been necessary for me to do.

My dilemma is I don't know which way to go. I have a dream... I am going to declare it right here on this blog. I have two things. I WANT TO BE A WRITER! I want to write professionally, for journals, for blogs, poetry, short stories, songs, poems, etc.... The second thing is to open a non-profit counseling center. It is my life calling. I have been daydreaming about this for at least nine years now. I know these two areas are different, but they are very compatible. .. So I am asking God for wisdom and for conclusions about the timing, the how, and the what.

But. alas my real dream I fear will never come true. Since the seventh grade my affection for counseling has been in a heated race in competition with my serious need and desire to learn and master the drums. I desperately want to be a skilled drummer. I want to play fast metal beats like in "Fade to Black" by Metallica, or GNR's "Sweet Child O' Mine" and "Welcome to the Jungle", not to mention every single Led Zeppelin song ever, and "Pyromania"..... Well, let's just say I have a list. And no, I am not kidding. But, for now, I don't have a drum set, so I will continue to concentrate on reality.

Which also reminds me, I need to call the ADD clinic back. Back to dreaming. :)