I am a never ending source of frustration for me...

You know, sometimes, I question my own sanity. From second to second, I seem to want something different, want to be something different, and want to be somewhere different. Stability is not a word someone who really knows me would use to describe me. On a good day, I would call this quality, spontaneous, or flexible even. On a bad day, I would definitely say this is called flighty, unstable, even faithless. I want to be stable, so stable. I want to get up at the same time every day and be sure of what it is that I want out of life, and sure that I am going to stick with it for more than the time it takes me to open my eyes and put my feet on the floor. The problem for me is not wanting to NOT do something, it is more of REALLY wanting to do everything. IE... many things I start I do not finish. Somehow ideas loose their luster in the midst of the details. Following through feels like homework did in school. A necessary thing to do to get by, but definitely not something I would ever choose to do. Unless, homework includes talking to someone. Now, I could definitely get on board with that. You know maybe I should become a reporter, let me look online at some programs and see what it would take.... NAH! The only thing I have ever been able to stick to is counseling and the only person I have ever been able to stick to is Chad. I think even he tires of my endless change. Oh, and thank God for my faith. I don't know how I could have ever found my place in this world if it weren't for the stability of my Saviour. You know, I think I will write about that next. Until then. Your unstable friend - TTFN!

I don't know what to say....

Well, here I am. It's 2:00 am and I have been fiddling with this blog forever. I really don't know what to write. Not because I don't have anything to say (of course) but because I don't know what kinds of things to say... I have stories to tell, and experiences to share. Things that have changed me, and changed others. I could blog about my day, but even I wouldn't want to read that. I guess I am here because I just need a place to express myself. Maybe I could also do a family blog... this just all feels so presumptuous to assume that anyone would even want to read what I write. The thing is, I think I communicate better on paper (screen) than I do in words. I guess when you are writing you have to focus. When I am talking I am everywhere, because the multitude of things running through my head. I am frustrated constantly by my inability to stay focused, so maybe blogging will be therapeutic for me. So I guess I did it. Here is my first blog. YEAH!