Adoption - "Parting Paths"

Here is a picture of my friends... and notice the empty spot in the stroller that is waiting to be filled...

This is a post for my good friend "Mama Hen". She just finished up her adoptive parent family portfolio for the upcoming adoption of their future Baby Girl "Hen". The agency they are using is the one where I worked for 7 years. I worked with the birth moms who voluntarily placed their children for adoption, in hopes that the adoptive family could provide something for their child, that at the present moment, they would not be able to provide. Most of the time that meant a stable loving two-parent family. No matter how much they loved their child, they were not able to be two parents. Every young woman who placed their child, or planned to, had more courage in their pinky than most of us have in our entire being. They were willing to trust that someone else could and would provide a better life for their child, and for whatever reason or circumstance, they chose to separate and allow their child to have what they needed. Even if it meant giving up the precious title of parent. It takes a lot of maturity to even think this way, and a lot of courage to follow through.

For the most part, only about 2% of all women actually voluntarily place. Most children who are adopted are removed from their homes after abuse or neglect and thrust into the system, and have to wait and wait, if they ever actually do get to be placed in a permanent family. It is sad. When a young woman pursues adoption because it in the best interest of her child, she is preparing for her child's needs and providing for that child, all that she believes he or she needs, even though she will not be a part of it. It is totally different than someone failing as a parent. Do not ever be deceived in thinking that a young woman doesn't love her child if she places him or her for adoption, because, if the gospel of Christ is true, adoption is a perfect reflection of His love for us here on earth, and it is a sacrificial love. A love that provides a way. A love that sacrifices. A love that gives. She gives up a relationship and a life with her child, so that her child can have "more than they could ask or imagine."

Do you want to know who my hero's are in this world? My hero's are women and men who are willing to sacrifice for their children. Who are even willing to sacrifice their own needs for their children's whole needs. My hero's are Christians who open their homes and lives to adoption. My hero's are people who understand that our call to true Christianity is to serve orphans and widows. What better literal picture of that here on earth is there than adoption?

I am proud of you "Mama Hen" and "Poppa Rooster". I am thankful for your heart and your compassion. I am so excited for you and can't wait to see how "Baby Girl" changes your lives, and how you change hers. I will be praying for you guys and for her mother as she prepares to give her heart away. How beautiful.

Here is a poem I wrote several years ago about the girls I worked with. Seeing their sacrifice changed my heart forever. This is only a nugget, but something to think on.

Parting Paths

By: Jennifer Baker (2002)

She could hardly read the paper-

As her eyes filled with tears,

She couldn’t believe that one moment-

Could lead to so many years.

She was so sad, so sorry, so crushed-

For she had created a life,

But the timing was rushed.

She couldn’t give- What she thought he deserved.

Love was the only thing that she could have served.

With the pen in her hand- she paused to consider,

But the future just kept getting dimmer.

Could she give him all that he needed?

With an ache in her chest, her heart pleaded.

No money, no time, no father…

No son or daughter-

Should go without so much.

But could she live without,

His gentle sweet touch?

But she knew the truth, of the life they would lead.

He would go without, to fill her need.

So the pen hit the paper, and their paths parted.

She loved him for a lifetime, before his life started.

A family that ached for him, as much as she…

By giving him life, she filled both of their needs.

Now he’s got all she intended,

And a new family’s sorrow has been mended.

On paper stained with tears,

Trusting God with all her fears,

She paved a new path for her son,

And left no thing undone.

Some misunderstand her choice,

Thinking only of their own voice.

Not realizing she is the one,

Who thinks every day of her son.

Though parting was the best thing to do,

Her job as a mother will never be through-

Praying for him, and ceasing never

To carry him in her heart forever

Love is where her choice starts-

It is love that pushed their paths apart.

- This poem is dedicated to every wonderful brave girl who I ever met on this path. - Jennifer Baker 2002